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Now, I want you to keep on repeating that joke to yourself until you're just not laughing anymore. By doing this experiment, you save yourself the price of a theater ticket and a good 70 minutes or so of your time, and still get the same experience as if you were sitting in a theater watching this movie.Observation 3 - This movie creates a new low in product placement.If this movie proves anything, they couldn't hit a target if it was an inch away from them.It doesn't help that has already been parodied to death on the Internet, comics, and the like.Meet the Spartans may resemble an obnoxious houseguest, but the guys behind the movie resemble a pathetic stand up comic telling year-old jokes to an audience who just couldn't care less.The movie is more or less a run-through of plot, only with amateurish humor and TV pop culture references thrown in.Leonidas (British TV actor Sean Maguire) must lead his army of Spartan warriors against the invading Persian army, led by the overweight Xerxes (Ken Davitian from ).Leonidas wants 300 soldiers, but his Captain (Kevin Sorbo) can only round up 13.
You know, I really want to be lazy and just re-write one of my reviews from one of their past films, only switching the words around in order to fit this one.
When you think about it, calling Meet the Spartans a full length feature is funnier than any of the jokes that appear in the film itself. To make up for this fact, filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer stretch out the closing credits to ridiculous lengths.
The credits routinely stop, so the movie can cut away to a good 10 or 15 minutes worth of deleted scenes or alternate takes on scenes from the film.
We've seen it all before in films like Date Movie and Epic Movie, but it's possibly even less funny in Plenty of cartoonish scenes that are violent nonetheless: A dog bites a man's testicles; a parent and child head-butt each other (in the name of teaching the boy how to be a warrior); a spear lances through a soldier while another charges and hits a rock face, plucking his eyes out; guns are shot, swords are drawn, and a man cracks his neck performing a break-dance move; blood oozes out of a man's face.
Ample cleavage and booty shots; lots of scenes with scantily clad men and women; plenty of sexual innuendoes, many of which are somewhat homophobic (a man discusses warfare in terms of "taking it from the behind," for example); a woman licks her lips while staring at men; she also gyrates in front of older men who throw money at her; humans and animals (sometimes both) are shown in sexual positions.